Tuesday, 25 August 2015

Words can hurt, words can heal - The Huffington Post

The reason I write is in the hope that I can somehow help others and connect with people. So I am always happy when I can share my stories outside my blog.

Today, The Huffington Post is sharing my story on Words can hurt, words can heal, please feel free to share my story!

Thanks again for stopping by and feel free to comment, I'd love to hear from you!

Words hurt, they come back at me when I am tired, depressed, sleep deprived or struggling with a hard, long day. Those days that you feel it is impossible to continue but you do and wonder how on earth it was possible. The guilt I feel that I could have done something to prevent my daughter’s disabilities or my son’s minor health challenge (now fixed) haunt me. I would do anything to fix either challenges and I do. It is late at night the words sneakily return and disable reasoned thinking.  The ceiling becoming a notice board for my thoughts all pushing for my attention. “Could I have done more?” Then, I tell myself “don’t torture yourself” but I still do over and over again. Continue reading







Saturday, 22 August 2015

Words can hurt, words can heal

Laying blame on mothers seems to be an “easy” out when their children are born with varying medical conditions or disabilities. I have had the questions and statements “you must have done this when you were pregnant” or even “there was a study saying if a mother took this medication or ate this food it would explain what your child is going through right now”.

I’ve had so many well-meaning and rash comments like these ones. But what those people don’t know is the hurt, tears and guilt caused. When I was pregnant I choose to go to extreme measures with taking the “correct” vitamins, eating the right foods and following medical advice. During my first pregnancy I drove my husband crazy with my obsessed eating of the “right” foods. Second time round I learned more ways to adapt while eating what I felt was right for me.

Words hurt, they come back at me when I am tired, depressed, sleep deprived or struggling with a hard, long day. Those days that you feel it is impossible to continue but you do and wonder how on earth it was possible. The guilt I feel that I could have done something to prevent my daughter’s disabilities or my son’s minor health challenge (now fixed) haunt me. I would do anything to fix either challenges and I do. It is late at night the words sneakily return and disable reasoned thinking.  The ceiling becoming a notice board for my thoughts all pushing for my attention. “Could I have done more?” Then, I tell myself “don’t torture yourself” but I still do over and over again.

As I write, I await my son’s final minor surgery and words of “you should have done more” are stuck on repeat in my mind. I can even visualise the person who said it. It’s not worth the fight, I walk away least I say something I will regret. But then, I think of those people whose words bounce in my mind attempting to destroy my peace and I realise most of them would not have seen their child held done to perform medical procedures numerous times or seen the look of fear and questioning of “mummy don’t do this I trusted you” while the gas mask forces them to sleep for surgery. It never becomes easier. Or the missed moments of normalcy.


It is those challenging times my heart reaches out to love my children even more desperately trying to forget the words of hurt and striving forward. I know it is hard for outsiders to understand, comprehend the challenges we face but laying blame or sharing new ideas of research adds to the burden. I know I’ve done all I can as a mother but the words that fall off your tongue do affect and do hurt. People often look for a cause of a problem. They fail to see that sometimes it is just the way it is or just bad luck.
Words can hurt
Words can heal
What did yours do today?

Monday, 17 August 2015

Saying Thank you

Thank you Lismore City Lions Club
Saying Thank You!

It is not often we have the opportunity to say 'thanks' for helping. Recently The Northern Star ran a story about our delightful little lady and her journey in becoming mobile.

We are pleased to announce that little miss has her power wheel chair and loves it. She is learning to drive the power chair but particularly loves going around and around hooray!

The moment I watched her take control of her chair and explore was just amazing. For the first time in her life she went where she wanted. She explored, crashed, felt the leaves on the trees and delighted in her world.

Thank you to Lismore City Lions Club for helping our darling daughter reach for the stars!


Here is the story if you would like to read it Confidence Boost for Eleanor

Monday, 10 August 2015

No Negativity Journal in Womankind Magazine

I am feeling very honored to have my No Negativity Journal printed in this month's edition of Womankind magazine. My first story to be printed on paper!

You can buy the magazine from here http://www.womankindmag.com/

Day three: Negative thoughts are attacking my head. I'm putting up a mental red stop sign saying: "Stop, you are not allowed here". Check more out 





Wednesday, 1 July 2015

Now on Facebook!


Find me on Facebook
I have been debating with myself whether or not to have a Facebook page and I decided I would. So if you would like to keep up to date with what is happening with Faith and articles I have published I'd love to meet you on Facebook.

Hope to see you there!

Becky

Thursday, 25 June 2015

Fundraising for a Car Modification - Can you help?

Faith going for a walk in the park in Armidale
happy days!
I have been a bit quiet on my blog as late as I am currently studying but I will return in a few short months.


Our big quest at the moment is raising funds to modify our car so that I can take Faith out and about. Wonderfully Faith has her power wheel chair and it is wonderful, but it is too heavy for me to lift in and out of the car (it is 60kgs plus). It is crucial for her back to be supported to slow the progression of her scoliosis so we are desperately raising funds so we can modify our car.


The cost of the modification is $6,880 and we currently have no funds for it. Since we have just raised so much money for her wheel chair there isn't many options left. We feel very blessed to have been able to purchase her power wheel chair.


If you have any ideas or know of any groups or organisations that might be able to assist I would greatly appreciate your comment or please feel free to email me.



It's hard asking for help but if you would like too below is our details.


Bank: The Greater Building Society
Account name: RJ Holland (Trustee)
BSB: 637 000
Account number: 720 378 256

You can contact me:
beckyjoyholland (at) gmail (dot) com

Saturday, 23 May 2015

On Holidays - Exploring - Part 1

Faith loves to explore and we all love to take long walks,
 especially when it is wheel chair friendly!


It is time for a change of pace and scenery and so we take to the road at long last. A road trip!


We have been blessed to be gifted some time away.

Outside Coffs Harbour


Blessed to have such a view - Coffs Harbour